


Are You Ready to Begin?

by wibblywobblymess



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-16 17:36:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wibblywobblymess/pseuds/wibblywobblymess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one in town knew the truth about what happened to Adam and his mother. They were just gone. And with the burning of his bones, it was likely no one ever would know what happened to Adam. But while the town presumed him dead after the discovery of his mother, and coped, and moved on, Ellie can't find the strength to move on. How could she? He was her best friend - he was her everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are You Ready to Begin?

“Are you ready to begin?”

“…am I ever?”

“Ellie…”

“Look, I just…” She sighed, and looked down at her pale hands. “Yes…I suppose I’m ready…”

                The room was silent as Ellie sat upon the leather chair, her fingers toying with the hem of her blouse, her toes together, heels apart, as her feet rested on the carpet. A large oak desk was in front of her, but the only other person in the room, an older woman in glasses, sat in the chair a few feet from her, on the same side of the desk. She watched Ellie intently, slowly laying the tape recorder on the table between them.

“How have you been?”

“I’m…okay…” It was hesitant, and a lie.

“Ellie…” she spoke, sternly.

“I’m still fractured…It still hurts…”

“On average, on a scale of one to ten?”

“…eleven.”

“Ellie,” she sighed, rubbing her eyes beneath her glasses.

“He was my best friend, my only friend, Marie. And I’m out of town for a week, and when I come back, he’s presumed dead? H-how can I not be fractured, and in pain?”

                Marie attempted to reach out for Ellie’s hand, but the younger girl didn’t move, didn’t look up. Instead, she closed her eyes, and sighed.

“I was…the last to know. Dad didn’t want to call and tell me, so he let me be the _last_ to know about my _best_ friend.”

“Okay, Ellie, just breathe…and let’s try this again.”

“Sorry,” she murmured, pushing her brunette locks off her face.

                The pen scratched on the notepad in her lap, before Marie leaned back, and focused on Ellie again.

“How have you been?”

“…coping?”

“How?”

“…by writing down my memories of Adam.” As soon as his name passed her lips, Ellie winced, and closed her eyes again, sniffling.

“What’s your favorite memory?”

“Impossible choice.”

“One of them?”

                The smile was slow to start, but it spread over her lips as she tilted her head, and carefully leaned back in her chair.

“We were eleven…his mom brought him over to study, on her way to work…I was staying with my Aunt Grace at the time, and…and we went out into the field – she lived on a farm outside of town – lied down, and watched the stars.”

“…why do you love that memory?”

“There was a meteor shower that night – I must have seen a dozen shooting stars…” There was a sad smile on her lips as she exhaled slowly. “It was the night I realized that I was in love with him…”

“…did you ever tell him?” It was a simple question, or, simple enough, but as soon as it formed from her lips, Marie knew she shouldn’t have asked. A tremble began in her bottom lip and she opened her now-moist eyes, shaking her head.

“No…and I wish I had. Adam was my best friend for…well…forever. And when girls my age started dating, I was just fawning over him, and he…I don’t think he ever noticed, and I was too stupid and too afraid to say anything…”

“Ellie, don’t d-“

“It’s true. I told him everything, and he told me everything…and I never told him that I loved him. Never. Not really…I even spent Prom Night with Adam, it was the only time that my dad flipped his lid over me spending the night with Adam.”

                That prompted an eyebrow raise from Marie as she leaned forward.

“What do you mean?”

“Dad trusted Adam, and Mrs. Milligan – growing up, I could stay there any time I wanted, and since Mrs. Milligan trusted Dad, it was the same for him staying with us. Even when puberty hit, they weren’t worried…but Adam’s date bailed for Prom, so he asked me, and I leapt at the chance…” Color filled her face as she shrugged. “We made out that night – first kiss for me, it was _wonderful_ – and Dad…I don’t know what he was doing, coming to the dance to check on us, something like that, and he found us in Adam’s mom’s car…I was actually pulled out of the car, and taken home, and given the entire ‘girls and boys can’t be alone together after puberty’ speech…”

“I’m sorry, Ellie.”

“So was dad…I didn’t talk to him for two days…and I was too ashamed of what happened to call Adam…but he _was_ my friend, my best, and he came by, knocked, _apologized_ to my father. Him apologizing for kissing me hurt my feelings, but I knew he did it so we could hang out again.”

                Marie jotted down a couple of notes, before looking back up at Ellie, who was lacing her fingers, and fiddling in her seat.

“What…is your last memory, of Adam?”

“Good or bad?”

“Good. You aren’t ready for the other just yet.” _Good, she finally gets it,_ Ellie thought, sighing and nodding.

“It was…One month before I found out he was presumed…yeah…” She sighed again, sniffling after a second, and smiled a tiny bit. “He was going to college, and I was so proud of him, you know? He was doing what he wanted to do, and it made him happy…I didn’t get into either of the schools I wanted around town, and I just wasn’t ready to be without him, and I know, I know, that seems so needy…but it wasn’t intentional, not really. I didn’t realize this at the time, but I only applied to one school near Windom, and the University of Wisconsin, which is where Adam was going…but I didn’t get into either, so I was still in town, and he was off at school…”

                Her entire demeanor changed in that second, the smile growing on her lips, as she relaxed. Thinking about it made her feel better, even if only momentarily.

“I was working at a diner in town, one of Adam’s favorite places to come and eat…we went there every day after school to get a soda, study – it was comfortable. And I had just clocked out, tossed my apron, and walked out the door…and I swear, I squealed when I saw him in the parking lot, leaning against his truck. He was supposed to be at school, I didn’t expect him, but do you know how happy I was to see him? I had been so lonely, and depressed, and…it just _melted_ when I saw him.”

                The sadness started to come back, and as quickly as she could, Marie tossed another question into the air.

“What…was your first memory of Adam? Or your first good memory of him?”

“He was my hero.”

“How?”

                Even though she was sitting in what felt like her millionth session with Marie, having been coming since Adam’s ‘death’ a few years prior, somehow, Ellie still didn’t always expect the follow up questions of “why”, and “how”, and for a moment, she wasn’t sure how to answer. It took a few, before the words found her tongue, and parted her lips.

“Mom had run off…again…and kids…kids can be cruel. Everyone in our school had a mom, or a good memory of a mom, or a good story that became a memory of their mom…but everyone knew my mom was a flake. She would run off with someone, and then come back to Dad, only to run again. She had no clue how to handle a family…the kids in my school picked on me for mom being a flake. They did it for weeks, before I met Adam for the first time. It was recess, a couple kids were taunting me for having a whore of a mom – I was seven, mind you, I didn’t know what they were talking about. And out of nowhere, Adam shoved them both, and told them to shut up, and he took hold of my arm, and led me to where he had been playing, asked if I wanted to play with him. He was my first friend, and my only real friend. He saved me from being alone…”

                Once more, her lip trembled, but Marie couldn’t pick her question quickly enough this time.

“He saved me so many times, so many times I hated who I was, and that I was so alone and needy, so many times he made me feel needed, and loved, and I lost count of how many times he saved me, and the one time, the _one time_ I leave town, he’s gone…he saved me so many times, and I couldn’t even save him once…how could I be such an…an awful friend…”

**Author's Note:**

> \---  
>  _I do not give permission to have any of my works put up on goodreads or any other such site._


End file.
